Chy An Dor
by Silverdamocles
Summary: A nice romatic weekend down in a cornish cottage doesn't quite go as planned. M&S country vacation fun.


CHY AN DOUR (Cornish Or KERNOWEK for "Our House" or "Our home" KERNOW =Cornwall) by TRUTHWEBOTHKNOW1  
  
Category: Written for IMTP VS 10 Valentine challenge.  
  
Keywords: H MSR Mild Angst, very light MT ( Now there's a shocker)  
  
Rating: PG for several choice metaphors, lots of affection, romance and general goofiness. Stuff happens.  
  
Summary: Uh well A reunion, a gift, and a cozy weekend of planned romance in Cornwall, rustic charm. Best laid plans etc etc..  
  
Spoilers: FIRE and The PILOT. SOME MYTHARC eps.  
  
Archive: 2 weeks exclusively on IMTP VS10 after that my website and anywhere that would want it..  
  
Feedback: Any would be much appreciated. dragonrider1ntlworld.com  
  
Disclaimer: They have more fun with me CC but I'll be nice and give them back clean ,sweet smelling and refreshed. A couple of brands of various drugstore products which also don't belong to me but hey I'm giving you free publicity. No point suing. C'mon criss what would you do with a moldy Cornish pasty and my son's battered scooter with the wonky front wheel?  
  
Author's Notes: Humble apologies to the wonderful folks of Cornwall. I go there every year on vacations and spend simply oodles of money in your wonderful Duchy. I am in fact, part Cornish myself paternally, so please don't take the content of my fic to be in anyway derogatory, either people , culture, language etc... All references therein are made with a mixture of personal anecdotal license and deep affection. It's a beautiful place to explore, beaches are fantastic, and the weather is great (most of the time.) A few scenes from the last James Bond was filmed there. (VEG)  
  
All incidents in this fic have been anecdotal either to me, friends or loved ones and adapted for your amusement and M&S's. Although I fear a certain friend will be quite honored to know that I have forever immortalized a previously entertaining feature of her humble abode into X files fanfic. I say previous, because the er problem has been rectified. By Licensed workmen.  
  
Chy an Dor (Kernowek (Cornish) for Our house) Praze- an -Beeble is a real place. It means Shout at the devil.   
  
"Mulder it's so gorgeous!" Scully's grin was all bright eyes and teeth; a radiance of love dancing in their blueness to rival the perfect sky, as she gazed with awe at the picturesque cottage before them, gravel crunching pleasantly as Mulder slid up the drive in their rented open top MG. The car came to a stop and he switched off the ignition. The car purred a beat then stopped.  
  
"This is it. I promised you candy box perfect. Can I cook Scully? I knew you'd love it." Mulder sighed expectantly, turning to show off his own expensive orthodontistry. He took off his shades, his thumb gently grazing her cheek.  
  
She looked like a 16 year old on her first big prom date.  
  
"Definitely Mulder.'  
  
"Hey.."  
  
His arms slid around her waist and he leaned in for a kiss, claiming her lips with his own, a gesture she hungrily returned. His heart did a happy little Lambada knowing that he'd done something that had delighted the love of his life and turned her into the cuddly little ball of mushy promise, he cradled in his arms. All his blood rushed south.  
  
His other current love - the car, was hugging his ass in a leather caress beneath him, which was quite pleasing in several ways.. He really had to pick one up when he got home. It was so choice.  
  
Mulder imagined cruising around the countryside with Scully in one of these, going from case to case in beautiful sculptured seats. Weekends at the coast, picnics etc.. Comfort personified. Better than a bureau Crapsmobile any day of the week. Since he'd become Scully's lover, he'd developed a definite extravagant streak. Not because he really cared about his parents money, but now he often got overwhelmed with the need to ensure Scully's comfort and pleasure. He had the cash, the "black" money his father had left him, and he thought he might as well use it to make her life a little better-- a little happier. His eternal guilt chip over things she had lost along the way on his quest, still in prime working order, despite her reassurances and love.  
  
Scully seemed beside herself with happiness. Good to know he still had the knack to make her happy, especially after the unfortunate events in Oxford. The reunion from hell. How he hoped that they could forget the last few days and write them off as a particularly unpleasant miasma of cosmic forces, bad moon rising or post Christmas funk. The alcohol probably hadn't helped either. Scully had seemed a little out of kilter lately anyway; it had started to gnaw at the back of his subconscious.  
  
Scully's warm lips played tango with his own, paying special attention to his pouty bottom lip, eventually they came up for air, sun shining its benevolence on them and not a cloud in the sky. February in Cornwall, who would have thought the weather would be this kind. It was perfect, the rolling hills and woods behind the cottage were amazing and they felt like this was the only little nook for miles around, and Scully's hot mouth eased away any fears he'd harbored in his heart that she might be reconsidering their relationship. He still couldn't believe his luck that she had chosen him at all.  
  
The Ivy that hugged the whitewashed cottage walls sang with the light breeze as if whispering "Hello". Mulder, content enough not to move for a few minutes after what had been a long drive, burrowed further into Scully's neck, breathing in the Cherry scented soap they had both been lathering themselves with in the shower, the night before leaving Oxford. It had tasted so good on her skin. Something south of Mulder's belly button twitched in remembrance. An early birthday present he'd picked up for her in Selfridges. He'd probably be buying a case before they went home. The cottage break was her real present though, and also doubled nicely as a romantic Valentines getaway. Hopefully their latest and unwelcome encounter with the demonic specter of Phoebe Green would vanish into the ether of the beautiful Cornish countryside and a weekend of serious passion.  
  
With his nose buried in Scully's fiery wind tussled hair, all was right with the world.........until he opened one sleepy eyelid.  
  
"Get down!!!!"  
  
"Wh...what?"  
  
SPLAAAAAATTTT!  
  
"...Shit!"  
  
Literally.  
  
The Seagull seemed to do a victory swoop above them after scoring a direct hit on its unfortunate targets. It prescribed a perfect arc in the sky and veered off with a last cheerful shriek towards the sea.  
  
Why Anton Chekhov had ever felt moved enough to name one of his more famous plays after one of these defecating feathered bastards, was beyond Mulder at that point and found his hand twitching for the weight of a gun that wasn't there. Right now a Bee-bee might come in useful.  
  
They stared at each other for a second or two in utter stupefaction, taking in the aftermath of the attack; a truly astounding amount of greenly yellowish, foul smelling substance the consistency of lumpy oatmeal, that would make the ABH throw up in disgust, generously pebble dashed all over their clothes, clinging to their faces and hair, not to mention spread all across the entire cherry wood veneer of the car dashboard. Must have ricocheted at an impossible angle for its payload to coat everything so completely, Mulder mused, trying hard not to vomit.  
  
"Yikes. Hot lunch, Scully?" He was truly stunned at the sheer volume of crap that one bird could produce. Had this been the States, he'd have thought that a Condor had happened by and taken a dump on them. "Look at this amazing new hair gel, I've discovered. Umm." He gingerly held his fingers up to his nose to sniff at them.  
  
"Mulder you are truly gross, do you know that?" She scooped a lump of the slimy muck out of her eye socket and vigorously shook it off her fingers, onto the gravel. Mulder was wiping a blob off his nose with the cuff of his sweater, spitting out what was smeared all over his lips. Scully watched him use around 80% of all his facial muscles in a mask of utter disgust.  
  
"I live for moments such as these, don't you? Bang goes the car rental deposit. I don't even think Amway products could cope with clearing up all this crap, or the smell."  
  
Scully produced a tissue and began dabbing at Mulder's quivering lips. He looked a bit green. " There. You missed a bit. Just tell me there's a hot shower or bath and you packed my soap."  
  
"I did. There's a Claw foot tub, candles, hot water. Soft sheets.. " She grinned goofily at him.  
  
"There had better be Mulder, and don't tell me this is supposed to be lucky. That's bullshit."  
  
"Actually its gull shit."  
  
"No shit!"  
  
"Mulderrrr." What was it about the cadence of her voice that spoke directly to his groin?  
  
"Kiss me Scully." He leered at her over the top of the tissue. Puckering his lips. Waggling his eyebrows.  
  
"Yuck, in your dreams, Mulder."  
  
"I promise to floss." Her face pulled into a just- sucked- a- lemon grimace in reply before making a beeline for the trunk. He sucked in a breath, flicking a lump of bird crap off his cowlick and followed her out of the car. "Twice..?" he glanced back once at the state of the car and wanted to cry.  
  
SHIT.  
  
Their footsteps crunched swiftly across the gravel in their haste to get indoors, and out of range of any more reinforcements that might turn up in true Hitchcockian tradition. Mulder muttering something under his breath that sounded a little like "muck' but not quite, as he literally kicked the door open. Rain clouds were sifting in from the east and looked ominous on the horizon. He considered it wasn't entirely beyond the realm of science fiction that the vapid Phoebe could be an evil sprite from middle earth in an latter-day incarnation, and sitting in her bat cave somewhere with a rippling seeing- eye mirror like the big boobed witch had in "Red Sonya", and set this unpleasant revenge on them in retaliation for Scully's display back in Oxford. Phoebe had always made a startling Cawing noise --much like a constipated gull during her noisier orgasms, he shuddered in remembrance as he hefted the bags through the door.  
  
Definitely a visual to banish forthwith and concentrate on what he had planned with Scully.  
  
The house was as beautiful inside as it was out; it just smelled musty with disuse. It was so cozy, the perfect love nest. Seascapes adorned the walls, tasteful décor that extended to the quaint floral print sofa that looked like a giant marshmallow ready to swallow them up, it looked so comfortable.  
  
Scully almost cried with delight when she spotted the huge open log fire and the antique range in the kitchen. The bedrooms revealed a king size canopy bed with Fleur de Lille cotton valence and bedspread. Mulder thought how romantic it would be to cast a sea of blood red Rose petals all over the white organza and light candles all around the room. His heart did a little unnatural twist thinking about him and Scully lying side by side, the candlelight flickering in her eyes and their skin painted with amber light, sipping champagne. He just needed to distract her long enough to put his plans into action. Perhaps while she was in the bath. His long fingers closed over the felt covered mound in his pocket, to reassure himself it was still there. He let him smile despite his nervous energy.  
  
Professor Scott, who had always looked sagely upon Mulder like a second son while at Oxford, had been badgering him for years to take him up on his offer to borrow the cottage and take a lady friend there. It had only taken him the best part of two decades to capitulate. He remembered fondly the knowing wink the old buzzard had given him. Now slightly deaf and away with the fairies, he'd taken one look at Scully and surreptitiously pressed the keys into Mulder's hands, with shaky fingers that spoke of early Parkinson's.  
  
The old boy seemed to find it profoundly amusing when Scully, who had taken just about all she could stand from Phoebe's obnoxious repartees of put downs, and accidentally on purpose retaliated in very un- Scully like fashion. Phoebe's head became the sole beneficiary of Scully's virtuous generosity, in the form of her untouched Fillet minion in sauce Béarnaise.  
  
Much to the amusement of the assembled thong. Professor Scott lit a cigar and puffed on it with barely concealed amusement, taking in Scully's satisfied glow and Mulder's open mouth astonishment as the said Ms.Green, all dripping fury and bug eyes had beaten a hasty retreat from the diner hall. Whose bright idea had it been to seat her next to Scully?  
  
Ooopse.  
  
The professor had leaned over and whispered in Mulder's ear.  
  
"She's got balls, my boy. Do yourself a favor and hang onto her. Marry her for god sakes." Mulder had nodded dumbly. The old guy smiled at Phoebe's retreating maelstrom as he handed him the keys. " Silly Cow, little Miss "Bury me a Y shaped coffin", we used to call her." He chuffed on his cigar, laughing imperiously.  
  
So here they were, in the tiny village of Praze-an-beeble nestled in the downs a few miles from Camborne.  
  
They both fought the urge to sneeze as they dropped their bags. First order that day. Divesting themselves of their clothes. This wasn't quite the reason Mulder wanted to get naked, but making love would be a whole nicer not smothered in itchy bird shit. He could hear Scully putting the kettle on the range for tea. Right now he needed to strip and clean his teeth...several times with a wire scrubbing brush if necessary. No way was his missing out on Scully's amazing lips tonight. He was rooting for tongue too if all went well with his gift.  
  
Hot water rained down on their entwined bodies like a warm blanket, cleansing the last of the Seagull surprise from their hair and skin. Scully's arms were around his waist; head nestled against his chest, drawn there by the rapid beat of his heart, warmth and the cherry sweet smell of his skin, enjoying the feeling of being clean again and revived by the water and being with man she loved more than life itself. He held against his chest like a second skin, nuzzling her neck and breathing her whole essence into his soul. He loved her so much he wanted to weep. She looked flushed, wonderful.  
  
"Scully, what exactly made you mad enough so that Phoebe ended up wearing your meal?" His soft voice reverberated in his chest as he softly rinsed the soap from her hair. Her eyes rose to meet his hooded green ones and she let her lips curl up in a knowing smile before melding herself to his mouth. God she was beautiful, all wet and warm in his arms, nipping little kisses down his face and neck  
  
"I..er guess I decided she had it coming, Mulder. I think it was the wine stripping away my normal good sense. Plus she crossed the line. Right at that moment, it seemed like a good thing to do at the time." He was massaging her scalp now and she automatically leaned into his touch.  
  
"You enjoyed it way too much." His voice was like warm honey as his laugh ticked the hair at her neck. " She got your Irish up.....admit it. "  
  
"Yes she did......I guess,......are you feeling sorry for her?" He chuckled; her fingers smoothing over his waist, feeling his stomach ripple in amusement.  
  
"No, I'm just thinking of the poor chef who sweated blood and tears to produce such a fine feast, only to have you dump it all over Phoebe's head. I enjoyed mine. "  
  
"I enjoyed that. The satisfaction of seeing that sauce dripping lazily down her prissy little face was almost orgasmic. I wasn't all that hungry, her proximity had quite ruined my appetite for one evening. I did the only thing I could have done under the circumstances...what? Don't tell me you didn't get a kick out of it? I know you Mulder."  
  
Mulder grinned devilishly, sucking air through his teeth like ice cream had just gone in a filling. Scully poked his chest with a teasing finger.  
  
"I cannot lie to you. . yeah. Kinda hot. But that's my department."  
  
"What G-Man?."  
  
"Orgasms. Agent Scully." His eyes rolled about in a sultry leer that made her toes melt. Scully laughed running her fingers up and down Mulder's back.  
  
"So you liked me defending your honor, huh." That piqued his curiosity.  
  
"C'mon baby what did she say?"  
  
"I.. ?"  
  
Just then, a huge thunderclap cracked the air over the cottage, shocking them both. Something loud crashed in the vicinity of the living room, the sound of glass breaking startled them.  
  
Shit!!!! What now? Mulder thought groping for their bathrobes.  
  
"What was that Mulder?"  
  
"Dunno sounded like the living room window. C'mon."  
  
Sure enough, a large oak branch had come through the window. Rain, Glass and debris strewn everywhere. Mulder sighed, quickly dressing, leaving Scully to build the fire up while he found boards to nail up at the windows. The storm outside raged on.  
  
Half an hour later Mulder emerged back through the door cold, soaked through and shaking from braving the elements, which had turned decidedly nasty since they'd arrived here. Howling wind came through door with him. He just wanted to drop. He went to stand by the heat of the log fire Scully had built up while he fixed the window. Apart from freezing through to the bone, he'd managed to drive a nail into his palm instead of the board. He looked miserable as he held his bloodied hand to his chest.  
  
"Here le me see that, Mulder." She took his hand in her own, away from his chest to inspect it. He was ice cold.  
  
"Its Okay, just a scratch.. It will be fine. I just want to get back in that hot shower. I'm frigging freezing." His teeth chattered just to make his point. Their romantic evening seemed to be sliding further and further onto the back burner.  
  
"Its more than a scratch, Mulder, this will need a few sutures. I'll get my kit. Aren't you due for another tetanus about now? " He cringed. Uh oh, Doctor Scully rides again. Trust her to remember something as anal as that.  
  
"Umm.. Maybe. Its okay, I want to get out of these wet clothes now. You can see to it after. " Blue daring eyes locked on defiant green. He looked so gorgeous when he batted those huge lashes at her. The little boy in him could always knock her dead.  
  
"Okay," she acquiesced with a tired sigh. "Go get your shower and get warm G-man. Careful with that wound though, rinse it thoroughly but not with very hot water. I'll get you some clothes, make you some hot tea and we'll do this after. But." and there was a hint of evil about her smile that Mulder felt right down to his frozen marrow. "........ It comes with a jab. I don't want you getting lockjaw on me."  
  
Mulder's leer reached right up to his ears as his mind skittered off on a divergent thought at her last words. Scully caught the look and pursed her lips. She'd been with him way too long to need to wonder what mucky little innuendo he was thinking about.  
  
Mulder ducked into the shower again, while Scully decided a visit to the ladies room was in order first; she followed Mulder to the bathroom and stopped, checking the other doors off the passageway. Where the hell was it?  
  
"Mulder? Where's the ah.....?" She stopped short at the site of his splendid naked ass vanishing behind the shower curtain. " The um.."  
  
Hot damn.  
  
"Little agent's room? Its outside." His voice came back through a cascade of running water and steam. The smell of cherries pleasantly availed her senses.  
  
"What? You are joking right? "  
  
"Scully this is rural Cornwall, land of legend and devilish little people called Knockers, the Cornish Pisky, pasties, communing with land sea and sky, half the charm of living in rustic places is the outside 'Chokey'."  
  
"A Chokey. Mulder? Aww...You mean I have to go out in that storm.. in all that wind. Okaaayyyyy then. " She thought she heard him giggle. " Mulderrrr?"  
  
"Its either that or a bucket.."  
  
"Oh..... nicely put, Mr. sophisticated." She huffed, sounding whiney even to her own voice " coming from someone who has been known to relieve himself in the sink." She heard a wet sounding chuckle and the sound of a thud on the shower floor that told her he'd dropped his soap. A wet, bemused, adorable Mulderface appeared around the curtain.  
  
"I did NOT!!!"  
  
"Oh yes you did. Frat boy...Frohicke has the photographic evidence."  
  
"Where?.....That little weasel.....I" Scully flashed him a kilowatt smile that smacked of victory. Too much for his liking. He couldn't remember the incident in question fully, but just prayed to the gods the dastardly deed hadn't occurred at Margaret Scully's. His height challenged friend was going to be dead meat when he got back to DC.  
  
"Mulder, honey, please can we hurry."  
  
"How about you try the sink facilities, G- woman?.." Her glare seared his retinas with their intensity. " But.. on second thoughts...since you are um.....a little gender..err height challenged for that activity........I'll just get dressed and come out there with you. Find the mag-light, will ya, Scully. It 's in my rucksack. Can you hand me my robe. Please?" The soft terry-towel landed on his head.  
  
Scully just stared at him, strangely lost for words, tapping her fingers in an irritable tattoo on the wall, trying to ignore the ache in her bladder as he threw on his bathrobe, then went off to find the torch, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.  
  
The 'Chokey' was two thirds of the way up the garden, since the path went up hill, they had a devil of a job, just keeping hold of each other, keeping upright as the wind blew around them in an angry tempest. Nature felt really pissed off in this part of the world, they both gasped as the wind took their breath away, leaves and branches slapped at their skin. Individually, they both wondered about catching pneumonia, most likely at this rate. So much for the romantic weekend. Mulder felt a suspicious tightness in his chest that was starting to be very unfunny.  
  
Scully darted inside the dilapidated wooden door, leaving the latch on. Mulder shivered miserably, aiming his mag-light beam around the gap left in the opening. He was nearly knocked flat by Scully coming back through a beat later.  
  
"What? What is it.. Scully?" He fought to steady himself against the chokey wall, while she just looked shell-shocked.  
  
"Mulderrr.....it ..barfed up a rat........?"  
  
"What?!!" Sheesh, you'd think some of the things she sees at autopsies  
  
"A......a rat! ....horrible BIG rat! " Her despair was a shaky whisper fighting against the wind, half her voice torn away by the elements, she swung back the door and they both peered gingerly inside. Scully grabbed hold of his ass. He bit down a gasp at her fingernails digging in.  
  
"It was floating and it all welled up and slid over the top. It's flooding over. Its little eye looking up at me. I almost sat on it." Stifling an insane urge to laugh, Mulder shone his torch at the troubling sight before him.  
  
This particular Chokey was not well. Something very brown and nasty clung to every inch of the chipped porcelain and something bubbled inside it like the thing from the black lagoon, cheerfully burbling away to itself like some hideous sucking swamp creature from Mulder's nightmares.  
  
WUP ..WUP...WUP.  
  
I know just how you feel, pal, thought Mulder as he spied the unfortunate soggy rodent amidst the morass of spilled ablutions. The smell made the chokey live literally up to its name.  
  
Shit.  
  
"Alas poor Krycek, I knew him well. So that's where you have been hiding buddy. Scully, um, I need a bucket full of soapy water and bleach. The ah...facilities seem to be blocked so we need to find the drain cover. " Mulder sighed, he was looking at his third shower of the evening, his chest hurt and his hand throbbed like a battered heart, but the worst feeling of all was knowing with all reasonable certainty, that a wild and pleasurable coupling (or a good ole portion, as the locals called it,) was not on the cards tonight.  
  
After this, he was going to have a very hot, alcoholically saturated cappuccino and collapse into those inviting fluffy virgin white sheets, hopefully with Scully to fuss over him. When he turned around, Scully was scowling and trying not to eat a mouthful of hair that kept plastering itself in her face. Last time he saw that look of death frenzy; it had been aimed at one infinitely annoying Scotland Yard inspector, whose social skills hadn't evolved much since Cro-Magnon times. She trembled with disgust or annoyance, he wasn't quite sure which, but she suddenly grabbed his flashlight and was scuttling back down the path toward the cottage again before he could utter another word. The back of her robe swishing in the mud behind her. The howling wind snatched away all but her choicest words of profanity.  
  
On the other hand, perhaps he'd be sleeping alone. He hung his head in the rain. This did not bode well. A single tear slipped down his face and merged with the moisture already there. The heavens were crying with him in empathy it seemed.  
  
Getting the drain cover off was a feat in itself and took the two of them a good few minutes of scorching 'F' words and broken fingernails to achieve their objective. Mulder was wheezing by now and for the first time in an hour, Scully looked at him with some concern, but even that was short- lived.  
  
It took him all the way back to that first case back in Oregon. A graveyard in the rain, Scully laughed that time. Beautiful, all wet and exhilarated, their partnership gelling closer together with each moment of growing trust even at that early stage. They'd both been so young. He'd loved her then too. Even back that far, his heart reminded him, as he hefted back the metal cover as she watched on. She really looked pissed.  
  
"Go back inside and keep warm Scully, I can do this. " Scully glared at him, shaking her head. The rain came down like stair rods now. He wasn't sure what had stopped her jigging about but for a desperate woman, she looked much calmer now. He bit down the urge to comment about the sink again.  
  
"Can't it wait to the morning? I should look at your hand."  
  
Yep the sink had seen some action.  
  
"Nah lets do this now, I don't think Il be compos mentis in the morning. I'm as stiff as Elvis now." She gave him a predictably filthy look.  
  
Scully helped him pour the soapy concoction gingerly into the drain hole. As it disappeared into the dark abyss beneath them, they heard a swooshing noise going the length of the drain. Hopefully that hit the spot. Now for the second bucketful..  
  
They heaved the bucket into position, between them, fighting to stay upright in the wind, all of a sudden the mag-light went out. Then two things happened simultaneously. Scully's fearful shriek drowned out Mulder's heart stopping yell, as some unknown heavy object cannoned into his back and knocked him arms and legs akimbo flat across the drain hole. The full force of the water from the bucket shot up the drain like a bursting dam with a horrible THUNK!. Scully and Mulder heard their voices cry out in fearful union.  
  
"OH SHIT!"  
  
There was a short warning sound of ominous gurgling before a huge torrent of water shot full force back out the hole like a the old faithful geyser and sprayed everything in its path with a dripping river of crap. Scully fell backwards and Mulder cringed as he heard a loud splash, an unhappy confirmation that the love of his life had fallen in the pond he'd spotted earlier. Something wet and slimy nudged his face as he lay there breathless, and a even wetter, raspy thing slid over his face, that stilled his heart on the spot. A second or two later, it was thudding again, he was panting at the frigid air, dripping.........smelling. Something rough almost took off a few layers of his face. Yuck. He was up and out of the hole then like a bat out of hell.  
  
"What the.f.."  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"Scully? " He ambled towards her frightened voice, the high level of it scaring him silly. Something was following him......not just one thing, lots of things. shitshitshit.. Every part of him ached as he spotted the damp outline of Scully and he leaned forward to grasp her hand.  
  
Just then a blast of white light shone in their faces, blinding them. Mulder arms automatically shot up to his face to protect his eyes and he keeled over on top of a struggling Scully trying to get up behind him, her cold wet hands grabbing his ass cheeks. Normally he would have enjoyed the sensation but their combined inertia immersed them again in the icy pond; Mulder spluttering and gasping as his face slid beneath the murky water. They grappled against each other to sit upright again. It was then they heard the hideous laughter. ...And something else. Something not quite human.  
  
Once their eyes became accustomed to the light, they both gasped at the sea of red eyes bearing down on them. They flew into each other's arms, clinging tighter than conjoined twins as they both tried to breathe and couldn't.  
  
Oh God! Did he just yell that out loud?  
  
The light came nearer and became more intense, before it suddenly swung upward into the driving rain, leaving enough light to see the shape of a.......man?  
  
"Not God, my 'andsome boy, jus farmer Morley. Seems ye found my 'erd, avee?"  
  
His stout body seemed to fold in on itself as once again the maniacal laughter floated through storm like a hyena doing something unnatural to a corpse. " Ohh let the cows owt oohhh ohhhh, ooohhh?" More laughter bounced around them as they continued to get soaked like waterlogged rats.  
  
Mulder was not amused. Christ, the stupid old fart sounded akin to that alien from 'Galaxy Quest' " Now the damn cows were joining in with their braying.  
  
Scully was too shocked to do anything other than to cling to Mulder like a limpet. This joker should be damned glad they left their guns in DC.  
  
Cows.....lots and lots of cows. If he had his way they'd be hamburger. His eidetic mind's eye played out a nice fat juicy steak stuck right on Phoebe's head, while her big mouth opened and a mooing noise came out.. A prickly tongue curled itself around Mulder's ear with a playful slurp just then. Ewweee.  
  
"Whoever you are, you Kernowek redneck jackass, don't just stand there like an asthmatic warthog, get us out of this F&&%$$#$% pond!!!"  
  
Just then a previously dumbstruck Scully, found credence to her voice.  
  
"F...Fu. ck.. Fuckkkkkkk!!!!!"  
  
"Not in front of the, Bovine Scully..ahhhhcheeooooooo!!" Wheeze splutter.  
  
A little while later.  
  
Mulder lay naked and warm beneath the white comforter of their huge bed. Scully lay beside him, hands lovingly running through his damp hair. He groaned softly as he leaned into her touch. There was a short beep and Scully removed the thermometer from his ear.  
  
"BEEP! Your body temperature is 102,4." The scratchy digital voice on Scully's new state of the art med-gadget declared all too cheerfully, kind of reminded him of Joan Rivers.  
  
Scully put a stethoscope bell to his chest, smiling ruefully as she listened. Mulder leered goofily at her through a cherry Nyquil haze. Sitting there in her peachy bathrobe, hair wet and cheeks carrying just a hint of wind kissed flush, she looked too darn hot to be a doctor. But he was glad she was. He hoped while she was listening to his heart, that she could hear just how much he loved her right then. She leaned forward and kissed him, signaling that Doctor Scully had retired for the evening and his lover had returned. Not that he had any strength to show her a good time. He felt like he was floating up amongst the old oak beams in the ceiling. Their lips met again, briefly dueling for a better taste of each other.  
  
"It's official G-man. You have bronchitis. A couple of days in bed and you should be fine. " Mulder was rubbing her back in little circles through her fleece robe.  
  
"Does that mean I get to share them with you, Doctor Scully?"  
  
"Only if you're a very good G-man." She was making that purring sound at the back of her throat again.  
  
"Sorry Scully. So much for romance huh." he tickled that sensitive spot behind her ear.  
  
"If you are a very good boy, you might get a massage when you're feeling better. But I think for now I just prescribe hot chocolate and a couple of hot water bottles. "  
  
"You're the only hot thing I want baby" She almost squealed as he sucked at her ear lobe. His arms pulling her onto the bed until she straddled his legs. "Hey, it's the 14th today. Happy Valentine's, Scully. I love you Baby."  
  
"Love you too, Mulder." She looked radiant in the candlelight flickering around the room. She looked hesitant for a second then looked up her eyes ablaze. It was a look he didn't recognize, just a tiny nuance that had him curious and made his heart beat like a little birds.  
  
"I got you a present, Scully." Now his heart was thudding in earnest as he rolled slightly to one side and slid his arm slid his pillow, fingers closing over the almost pulsating little box, or was that just his own pulse. He'd never been so nervous in his life. This, despite being ill, this was a wonderful setting. He'd save the rose petals for another day and the champagne. It would taste much better when his taste buds returned. He had to do this before his heart gauged it's way out of his chest. .  
  
"Mulder, I got you one too, its ...er big.. Pretty.. um big. Can I give you the little one first,"  
  
"Scully...I...you did? Er...........sure. " She slid her hand over the covers of the bed and pushed a fist sized package into his shaking palms. Her impossibly blue eyes never leaving his. He was holding his breath, heart one big ache and for a moment he thought it had stopped altogether. After what seemed like an eternity, he tore his eyes away from hers and looked down, uncurling his fingers. Two seconds later, the paper was off and he gulped when he revealed..  
  
..............a jar of VICKS VAPOR RUB.  
  
Mulder could not believe the high-pitched hysterical laughter had come from his mouth. Scully seized both his arms when she thought he might have some kind of seizure and made him look at her. The little green flecks in his eyes blew up in a riot, pupils dilating madly in a way that shouted the hurt he felt. His lips were trembling and his eyes held back a dam of tears that made her smile fade.  
  
"I um, I always wanted one of these, .err.. Every boys wet dream."  
  
"Mulder, that prescription I was telling you about... that's part of it. I have your real gift right here the big one. Don't cry...I'm going to rub this all over your chest later. I'm sorry, please.....love so sorry."  
  
He sniffed, choking out a sound that could have been a laugh, eyes still holding a sadness she hated herself for causing, already regretting the silly gag. Something more serious was going on with him and it shocked her to realize just how much she misjudged this moment. Suddenly she felt scared. Scared for both of them, the stress of the last few days, the strangeness she felt inside that robbed her of her normal equilibrium. His beautiful eyes held her fast.  
  
She felt her breath hitch as she pulled a long slim beautifully wrapped package from the deep pocket of her robe, took his fingers and closed them over it. His eyes were closed but his face was a mask. She could hear his heartbeat through the ambient light. As loud as the storm in her mind and in every breath she took with him, both of them now breathing in sync.  
  
"This is the big present?" he bit his bottom lip as she nodded. His fingers turning it over in his hands, knuckled almost white, he was gripping it so tightly. Scully gulped back a threatened tear.  
  
"It's big, very big, trust me on this. The biggest thing of all..."  
  
"Is it a tooth brush? " he made no move to take off the paper. Something in her eyes made him start tearing at it gently, almost in slow motion. "Scully......?" His eyes changed colors so suddenly that it made her gasp, it was that second she realized that his mind has pulled into all the right places like a Rubik's puzzle and they were both staring down at his hands, ...at the slim plastic pen shaped device that showed two blue lines in two separate little windows.  
  
They came together by consensus, arms tightening around each other. Mulder's face was suddenly wet and from that split second, it was finally real to her. The other half of her, the other soul that joined with her to make this miracle merged as one and they finally basked in the healing warmth of a supernova.  
  
"Scull..god..ba ..ba bab..god baby!! Scully? You're pregnant........? Oh god."  
  
The rest of his emotional wheezing got lost beneath her hair as he buried himself against her and sobbed his heart out. She nodded her head, suddenly laughing and crying, trying to do the impossible and pull him closer.  
  
After everything they'd lost after all they had been through, all the pain, the fear and anguish, vaporized in an instant. The miracle of their unborn child had already begun to heal them.  
  
He came up for a strong heaving breath. Chest tight with emotion and they kissed at each other's tears, their fingers at each other's temples. When he spoke again he was gasping for air but she'd never seen him so alive..  
  
"I love you........so much."  
  
"I love you Mulder...we love.. you." Her hands left his face momentarily, and pulled his to caress their unborn child. " Happy Valentine, Mulder. I love you so so much. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you. I wouldn't have thought it was possible to feel what I feel for you."  
  
"Your are my Heart Scully, my life. No one could ask for such a wonderful present as this. Thank you. So Much...Oh my GOD" She startled at his stricken look.  
  
"What?......Mulder, are you alright?" She was too busy worrying about his sudden hacking cough to notice the little felt box he was pressing into her palm.  
  
Oh MY God!! MULDER.  
  
"Almost forgot. Guess......now." Choke .cough " This will come in handy. "  
  
"Mulder!!! Oh!"  
  
"Scully will you do me the profound honor of becoming my wife?" His hands slid nervously to their child safe in her belly. " Mother of my child." Taking her left hand in his own, eyes never leaving hers, he leaned back, pushing the ring on her third finger. A perfect fit.  
  
"Oh Mulder. You know damn well I will!!! You have the most amazing timing."  
  
"Umm, let me show you timing Baby." For the rest of the night they lay together, never more than a breath away. Despite his illness, they consummated their engagement and their good news. Several times. Later.  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah baby?" His mouth had started that slow erotic trail behind her ear again and she shivered.  
  
"I hate to ask this but....Did you close the soft top on the car last night?"  
  
"OH Fuck!!" 


End file.
